A/N: set few months after the final . I'll will explain how kessi got to that situation. that's not quite the end , events will follow them after this chapter...
i hope you like it , though i don't konw if there is anyone who still read kyle xy fanfics....
Lying on her bed, Kyle let his head bump the headboard as he reached for the picture on the night stand next to him. He sighed deeply, as he ran his fingers over the face of the young woman…
"Do you know who I see when I look at that picture?" Jessi asked walking toward him. She gave him a weak smile.
He didn’t answer her immediately. He looked at her with eyes widened in disbelief. They soon filled with his tears. He needed to clear his throat just to find the use of his voice.
"You came?" Even though, he wasn’t sure how he should react toward her appearance, his lips curved into a small smile.
"Well, I promised you yesterday that I would."
He got up and, placing the picture back on the stand, walked toward her. Unable to keep his feelings under control, tears slowly rolled down his cheeks. Kyle raised his hand wanting to touch her face, just to be sure. He pulled his hand back before making contact with her soft skin. He shook his head and stepped back.
"Since when do you keep your promise?" he demanded. He turned away from her and sat back on the bed, eyes looking down.
"I always keep my promises." She stated, walking toward him "My being here proves that." She sat by his side.
"You promised you’d never leave me Jessi." He spoke with a bitter tone, still not willing to make an eye contact.
She rolled her eyes. "It’s not like I willingly wanted to leave you Kyle," she told him. His raised his eyes and turned to her when he heard her statement "I was killed." She added. His heart skipped a beat when she said that. With his eyes fixed on her, Kyle swallowed hard.
He wiped his tears away, still not accepting the idea completely. Swallowing the lump of emotion in his throat he grabbed the picture once again. "I’m sorry, you’re right."
"Stop saying sorry, this is like the twentieth time you said it in two days. I’m not mad at you" she said playfully. His furrowed his brow; he couldn’t understand how she could be in such good mood. How could she joke around and still maintain a smile considering what was happening.
Still frowning and staring at her, a desire overtook; a desire to touch her just so he could believe that she was really sitting next to him and actually talking to him. Nevertheless, he thought otherwise.
She furrowed her brow when he didn’t answer; but then chuckled, gesturing towards his clothes. Her light was really confusing him at that time, yet he wasn’t about to ask her about it."What are your plans for the day?" She tried to hide her smile when he glared at her.
"I’m going to…" Looking down, he hesitated before continuing, not wanting to make eye contact. "…It’s your funeral today."
"Oh!" she said exhaling nervously, and looking a little guilty. "Hey you didn’t answer me.”
“Who do you think I see when I look at that picture?" She repeated her question as she took the picture from him. Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about the subject of her funeral.
He didn’t have to think much to figure out the correct answer. "Us," he whispered.
"Yep!" She smiled. "I never consider them as Sarah and Adam. I always thought that the couple was us…" She was silent for a few seconds as she took a breath. Kyle just sat there, watching her confessing her thoughts to him. "…maybe because I hoped that one day, we could be like them, but not to end up like them…" she teased but quickly her smile faded away "…and that day seemed like it would never come. So I think this picture was like…" She held the picture close to her. Unable to find the real words she ended up placing it back on the night stand. She stood up and walked to her desk "…It gave me hope that, one day, my dream would come true. But I think that will never happen now."
She turned to him when she said the last part and gave him a fake smile. She was taken off guard when he pulled her into a tight hug, but before she could manage to hug him back, she was stunned when he pushed her away from him. He stepped back as far as he could from her. His eyes filled with tears again as he held out his hands.
"What do you want from me Jessi? You’re not real. Jessi is dead. My Jessi is dead," he yelled as tears continued to fall down. He collapsed on the bed.
Bursting into tears, she walked to him and brushed her hands on his shoulders. He gasped when he felt her hands on his skin.
"I’m so sorry." He held his head with his hands.
"Stop apologizing Kyle, it wasn’t you fault." She wiped his tears away.
"But I didn’t save you," he said between sobs.
"You couldn’t have saved me. You didn’t know Kyle. You weren’t there." She spoke softly and after placing a kiss on his temple, she added, "We both know why I’m here."
He dropped his hands, releasing her, but remained silent as he waited for her to reveal the reason.
"I’m here to help you move on Kyle. You need to stop what you’re doing," she told him.
“I don’t want to.” he pleaded. “I’m fine like this. I don’t need your help.”
"Kyle, you’re not Adam. You can’t just lock yourself in Jessi’s room, grieving for her. You have to stop this; you have to wake up…"
He cut her off. "I don’t want to wake up. I want to stay here…" he sobbed. "You’re not out there, you’re here Jessi." He pointed to his head, indicating where ‘here’ was.
"I’m not even Jessi." Jessi now became Kyle. "You need to end this. You need to let her go." Kyle’s image ordered as his eyes brightened with anger.
“I can’t do this…I miss her….I won’t do it,” Kyle confessed as he stood in front of his image, staring furiously at him.
“You miss her…” he said with a smirk. “You miss her and you betrayed her…hurt her…and you have only yourself to blame for her death…It was your fault if you just trusted her and believed her…”
“Stop…stop…,” Kyle begged as he covered his ears with his hands. He believed that Jessi was just his subconscious trying to help him accept Jessi’s death. She said moments ago, that what happened wasn’t his fault, but now the fake Kyle was standing in front of him, trying to convince him otherwise. He was lost and didn’t understand anything
"I don’t want to hear this,” he shouted with wide eyes. Kyle's blood boiled as his image refused to listen to him. Unwillingly, he clenched his fist and hit the other him as hard as he could. "Shut up," he yelled as he stepped away. As soon as he realized what he’d done, the person that he hit was no longer himself…It was Jessi again and she was lying on the floor. Kyle gasped when he saw her like that so he ran to her and picked her up, laying her on the bed. Even though he knew she wasn’t really Jessi, he couldn’t stand seeing her like that.
“Welcome Brian,” Nicole said. She forced a smile as she invited Brian Taylor in.
“Hi Nicole. I’m sorry for your loss.” Brian shook her hand once he entered the house.
“Shouldn’t it be me saying that? After all she was your daughter,” she replied giving him a sad smile.
He was surprised with what she said, and as they walked to the living room, he cleared his throat. “I might be her biological father, but I never acted like that. I know I shouldn’t say this; but I never looked at her as mine and Jessi knew that.”
Nicole only stared at him with a slight open mouth. She couldn’t understand him. How cruel and brutal it was to say such a thing. Didn’t he have any respect? Even if what he was saying was true, he shouldn’t be saying it under these circumstances. In fact he shouldn’t be saying it at all, no matter what the circumstances were.
They reached the living room. Taylor sat on the couch.
“Is there anything you’d like to drink? Coffee….” Nicole stopped when Brian shook his head.
“I’m fine Nicole.” She sat facing him and Brian looked around him, sensing the awkwardness in the air. “How are you taking it?” he asked curiously.
Nicole rubbed her upper arm with her hands. "This family is falling apart." She paused momentarily. “Kyle is taking it the hardest,” she sighed. “He hasn’t left her room since he got back.”
"I’m sure everything will be getting back to normal with time," Brian said in attempt to reassure her, but Nicole was astonished when she heard that. Her eyes narrowed and she looked at the man before her in disbelief.
"Nothing is going back to normal Taylor. It’s not something that time can easily fix. She was…" She sighed, trying to keep her tone as low as possible. "This family has lost one of its members." She closed her eyes. "Jessi was killed in this house."
"I know this must be very hard on you."
"Hard?" she demanded with anger. "I held her hand when she died." Nicole shed tears as she spoke. "Lori is still having nightmares about that night. She blames herself for Jessi’s death." She stood up. "She blames herself because she was too afraid, because instead of calling for help, she froze when she saw her sister bleeding to death on the ground. You don’t know how hard it is." Nicole suddenly stopped when she saw the expression on Taylor’s face, the way he looked at her; with wide eyes and shock. She quickly took a few steps back, and breathed deeply in order to calm herself down before she said in an apologizing tone, "I’m sorry I yelled." She ran a hand through her hair. "It’s just…" She cleared her throat. "I’m ready to go now,"
she said in pain. "That was the last thing Jessi said before she….died," she explained with a shrug as she wiped her tears again. “Can you believe that someone can say that?"
Brian hugged her when he saw her like that; Nicole broke the embrace seconds later.
"No one believed her, you know. She kept on saying that she was trying to help, that she wasn’t working with Latnok, but no one believed her. We all suspected her, and we didn’t even give her a chance to explain." Her voice cracked as she talked.
"We’re all partially responsible for what happened to Jessi,” Brian said. “But you know what…You’re right. I can’t possibly begin to imagine how hard it is on you." He shrugged. "I think it’s best for me to wait outside until you guys are ready to go." Surprisingly, Nicole didn’t try to stop him. She simply watched him leave her house.
"What was he doing here?" Josh asked the second Bryan closed the door behind him.
"He’s here for the funeral," she replied in a calm tone.
"Emm," he hummed and raised an eyebrow in the process. "What happened to Jessi was his fault mom."
Nicole glared at him. "Stop! Don’t say that. Latnok killed Jessi, not Taylor."
"Well, keep telling yourself that," he countered and sighed in frustration.
"What’s that suppose to mean?" Nicole asked with confusion.
"Nothing…nothing." Josh shook his head. "Do you know if Nate is coming or not?"
"No, he’s not." She cleared her throat and replied. "Why are you asking?" As far as she knew Josh wasn’t that close with Nate. In fact he disliked him because of his relationship with Latnok.
"Oh…" Josh exhaled noisily. "I wanted to give him something." He put his hand in his pocket and pulled something from it. He showed it to his mother. Her eyes widened when she recognized the item.
"Isn’t that Jessi’s ring? How did you get it?"
"She gave it to me before…" He was unable to say it. "Well, you know…"
She nodded, indicating that she comprehended what he meant.
"She wanted me to give it to Nate."
Looking at the ring in his hand, Josh took a deep breath before he spoke again. "Sometimes, I wonder how things would have gone if Jessi hadn’t given me the ring, she would have been here with us today."
Her heart aching, Nicole could only nod in agreement. A lot of things if they would have gone differently that night, Jessi would have been alive today.
"Are the girls ready yet?" she asked looking toward the stairs.
Josh shrugged "I don’t know, but Andy is. She’s in Lori’s room. Do you want me to check on them?"
Nicole shook her head. "It’s okay, we still have time."
"I’m so sorry Jessi…I didn’t mean to hurt you," Kyle apologized as he ran his hand gently through Jessi’s hair. She started to open her eyes when she heard him ask her for forgiveness another time. She raised an eyebrow and smirked. He immediately understood her expression.
He gave her a weak smile. "Sorry for saying sorry." She giggled and tried to straighten her back when he furrowed his brow.
"I’m really sorry Jessi." She rolled her eyes, a bit annoyed and frustrated.
"Kyle…" she started but he didn’t let her finish.
"I’m not sorry for hitting you…" He sighed. "…I’m sorry I didn’t trust you when you tried to convince me that you were not with Latnok."
"It’s okay…." He interrupted her again by placing his finger on her lips.
"I was so blind by fury and anger that I didn’t see what Latnok was up to…the scheme they planned to…" He exhaled and shook his head, trying his best to keep his thoughts well organized.
"Break us apart," she finished for him.
He simply nodded. "I should have listened to you, given you a chance to explain. Maybe none of that would have happened.” He ran both his hands through her hair and moved closer to her. "But I was so mad at you…so angry with myself for trusting you…believing in you…" He was silent for a moment as a tear fell from his eye. "…and for loving you. I was a fool to believe Latnok and you were the cost."
He released her head, she sat next to him, and he was looking away.
"It’s going to sound ridiculous I know but…" He turned to her and their eyes met. "I missed you…and I know you’re not real but every day when I wake up, all I want to do is go back to sleep again just so that I can see you and talk to you. So I’m fine with this situation, I don’t need to move on. I’m happy like this; I get to see and talk to you and that’s more than enough for me. Believe me." His eyes brightened as he spoke as for Jessi she was thunderstruck.
"It’s not a life style; you can’t live like that Kyle," she argued in confusion.
"I can accept it Jessi, I really can… I can be happy with it,” he said, his eyes shining bright with exhilaration and excitement. She could only furrow her brow to that.
"I’m not expecting you to move on now….no, you have the right to grief, mourn your lost Kyle. It’s been a week since the incident …I won’t ask you to do that." she reached for his hand" I’m just afraid that you’d become Adam, that you’d simply give up on life. You can’t let that happen. I can’t let that happen."
"I won’t." He promised, placing his other hand on their joined hands and gave it a quick squeeze, emphasizing that she could fully trust him. Yet both of them knew how hard it was keeping such promise. Jessi shook her head in frustration and irritation. She shrugged and sighed, not willing so say another word, maybe because she knew it was useless to discuss the whole thing because it was too early. But at least she mentioned it; he would have to think about it eventually. She laid on the bed, shoving herself a little to make a space for Kyle. He wasn’t sure what to do, but finally he laid next to her. Staring at the ceiling, moments passed, deep and awkward silence filling the air.
How did you feel when they fist told you about me? She asked him, her eyes still looking to the ceiling.
I felt… he started but was unable to continue, he felt her hand in his. He placed his other hand on his chest, as he tried to from a reply to her question.
"I knew…"he nodded "…long before they told me that something was wrong with you. I could feel that something was off, something was missing but I wasn’t able to explain it. I never understood…"he rubbed his chest "why could you sense whenever I ‘m in danger but I can’t? I never could…" he was quite for a moment. When he talked again, he was looking at her, his grip tightened. Jessi looked at him and noticed his red eyes looking back at him. He was doing his best not cry, holding his tears; he was in pain, he was suffering and he could no longer take it anymore.
"Kyle" she whimpered.
"Please don’t leave me jessi…"he shook his head "you can’t be dead…you can’t." he pulled her closer to him "I can’t live without you…. And you can’t be dead." He huffed. It scared her seeing him like this. With her free hand she tried to pull away from him, but he didn’t let her.
"Please stay with me jessi…I love you."
"Yes, you can live without me Kyle. You have the Tragers, Foss…"she was still trying to free herself.
"Why don’t you try and go out with Amanda, Kyle?" She suggested.
"Amanda?" He wondered in confusion "you… you want me to be with Amanda." He didn’t see that coming, he could believe that jessi would ask him to take Amanda on a date. He released her hand and rubbed his upper arm.
"But you hate Amanda?" She didn’t answer him. She started to get up, but she turned to him first.
"I thought we were going somewhere. I thought we had a chance but I was wrong." She uttered and before her legs could touch the floor, Kyle grabbed her arm, pulling her back on the bed. In order to stop her from leaving, Kyle was on top of her, placing each hand on each of her arm.
"I don’t want to be with Amanda, I want t be with you jessi. You’re the one that I love." Jessi didn’t resist his grip, her eyes widened as she laid there listening to him.
"You’re the one that I chose jessi. I wanted to tell you, but…"
"It’s too late Kyle." She whispered.
"I know, that’s why you can’t be dead…I have to tell you that." he finally admitted, she knew that he didn’t fully accept the idea of her death, that he was still denying it. It was hard on him and on her too, even though she couldn’t understand why.
"Will you come tomorrow?" he looked so venerable and so weak, as he spoke and it somehow made her heart ached to see him in such state. Her eyes widened once more, he was still able to surprise her .She didn’t know if she could refuse his simple demand. She nodded. It wasn’t entirely his condition or the amount of sorrow and guilt that she was positive that he was feeling at the moment, that made her approve and accept his request but something else inside of her that she didn’t quite make sense to. Not because his eyes brightened once she nodded, just an urge forced her to accept. She found herself grinning along with him. He was so happy and joyful, and she was amazed how a simple act encompassed such an unexpected reaction. He finally pulled away from her; he helped her sit next him on the middle of the bed. He placed a strand of her hair behind her ear. He took his hands in hers, looking at their joined hands. Kyle raised his head when she said his name.
"Can you promise me something?" He instantly nodded.
"After while, when you feel that you can no longer go outside, when the only one that you think about when you’re sitting with the Tragers or friends, is me and you want to escape all that just to see me and when you feel like you’re suffocating without me, promise me that you’ll forget me."
He furrowed his brow "you want me to forget you?" He shook his head "no I can’t do that."
Her hands held his head, forcing him to look at her and nothing but her.
"I know that Nicole would her best to help you, but if she failed…." She took a deep breath "I want you to forget everything that you have ever known about me; forget that I have ever hurt Lori, forget that I’m the reason why broke up with Amanda, that I was ever created, forget that you have ever loved me Kyle. Please, forget everything; whether it was good or bad… but …"she sighed as she got closer to him "don’t ever forget how much I love you." She leaned down, closing her eyes as, her lips were on his. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist as the kiss deepened, her arms around his neck, her right hand lightly clasped in his hair, pulling him closer. Kyle slowly pulled away nearly gasping for breath. Before he managed to open his mouth to say something to her, he felt a hand shaking him gently; he looked around him finally realizing what was really happening. He opened his eyes and saw Nicole standing by the edge of the bed.
"Come on Kyle it’s time." He felt like he was holding something, glancing down, he found himself holding the picture. He sighed, not caring about Nicole’s presence; he placed a kiss on it.
"I love you too" jessi he whispered.
tell me what you think of it ....